David Ralph

FEAR

In my study and journal time today – I focused on the word “fear”.  I am finding myself a little more fearful the older I get.  When I was younger, fear didn’t seem to be something that I hardly ever wrestled with.  But, for whatever reasons, I find myself hitting the wall of fear a little more than I used to.  I don’t like it.

Fear is that unpleasant often strong emotion caused by real or unreal anticipation or awareness of danger.  Fear can create anxiety and worry to the point that we panic.  Words that seem associated with fear are alarm, panic, dread and terror.  But there is another meaning of fear – a profound reverence and awe for God.  Interesting that fear can be panic and anxiety producing – but it is also associated with a reverence and awe for God.  I started searching the Bible about verses that have to do with fear.  In Psalm 55, David declares that his thoughts trouble him – his heart is in anguish – fear and trembling have beset him.  His desire is to simply run away from the circumstances that are causing his fear.  But then he turns to God – he says that God hears his cries – morning – afternoon – evening – in other words constanntly.  He then gives us great instruction – especially those of us who fear – “cast you cares on the Lord and he will sustain you.”   The question I asked myself, “When fear comes and my heart is anxious – do I pray or do I panic?”  I wish that I could always say I pray – but sometimes I panic first.

In Psalm 27, David says that God is his light (he gives direction) – he is his salvation (rescues him from danger) – he is the stronghold if his life (a fortress – a place of refuge).  David believes that if this is his reality – then he will not fear – he will not be afraid.  He goes on to describe his desire to be in the house of the Lord.  This might not be a physical house as much as it means to connect closely with God – to be in his presence.  Another question I asked when it comes to fear is, “where do I dwell when I am afraid – in the house of fear or the house of the Lord?

The verse that spoke most to me today was I John 4:18 – “There is no fear in love – perfect love drives out (away) fear.  It is when I am willing to believe that God loves me with perfect love that I can certainly fear less.  Romans 8 says that I don’t have to be a slave again to fear because I am an adopted son of God.  Remembering my identity in Christ should do something for my fear.    I have thought about fear a lot over the last couple of weeks and God has really spoken to me through his word on this today.  I am going to be doing a series at Lakeside starting in January titled “The House of Fear”.   

Let me close with the words of Isaiah 43 – “Fear not for I am with you – I have redeemed you – I have called you by name – child you are mine – you are precious  and treasure in my sight and I love you.  When you pass through the water – when the river is ragging – when the fire comes – I will not necessarily take you out of it – but I will be with you through it.”  Great words.  FEAR NOT.

Resentment

I was reading through Matthew 20 focusing on the parable of the “Workers In the Vineyard” and the word that came to my mind while reading this parable was the word “resentment”.  Resentment is the feeling that comes when something doesn’t seem right or fair or just.  Why did those who worked an entire day get the same pay as those who worked only part of the day?  That doesn’t appear to be fair.  Didn’t those who worked all day have a right to be paid more than those who just worked part of day?  Didn’t they have the right to complain?  Wasn’t it within their rights to complain about it?  These are the feelings of resentment.  Resentment comes when anger turns to bitterness because “fair” expectations weren’t met by a child – a spouse – a friend.  Anger comes when we are jealous of someone who gets what we want and we think they don’t deserve it.  Resentment comes when someone takes advantage of us and we think it is unfair.   I have felt a sense of resentment in ministry.  It usually when someone takes advantage of me or treats me in a way that I feel is unfair.  I spend hours helping a family through some of the most difficult times in their lives and then after things get better they leave the church over some small misunderstanding.  I want to so badly remind them of all the help they have received.   A couple shows up at the church and comes for a few months and then they ask me to do their wedding.  They never seem to darken the door of the church again after the wedding and I feel resentment because it just doesn’t seem fair.  I watch a peer get some recognition or special opportunities or acknowledgement which leads to a envy but over time can lead to resentment.   I know those feelings and so do many of you.

I have watched people who are so jealous of another person that over time turns into a resentment and no matter what that person does or gets the other resneting person is always critical of them.  I have watched spouses whose anger develops over time into bitterness and that bitterness turns to resentment.  No matter what good the other spouse does – it is never good enough because it is now clouded with the feelings of envy.  If you continually swallow anger or envy – it will turn to resentment which can be one of those ugly qualities of life.  Envy makes strong relationships impossible – it makes you suspicious and cynical – it causes you to cling to negative feelings about another person – it can prevent you from seeking forgiveness – it can harden our heart and it can wreak havoc in an area of your life. 

So what is the cure?  It is one word – “gratitude”.   It is about developing a greatful heart.  It starts with understanding the condition of my heart and getting in touch with my own brokenness.  It is about being a giver more than being a taker.  It is about recognizing how gracious and giving God has been to me and being grateful for all he has given.  It is about being grateful for the chance to help others even if they unfairly treat me in some way.  It is about being content with all I have and grateful for everything – seeing it as a gift from a loving God.  If those who worked all day had been grateful for the wage they had – truly seeing the master as a very generous and gracious person – then it would have done something to their resentment. 

So where does the scale tip in my life – towards resentment or gratitude.  These days it is towards gratitude and it is such a great feeling to have it tip this way.  I want to be more cautious about letting this slip back the other way.

Are Weekend Services Essential?

The title asks a great question – does attending weekend services make much of a difference to the way I live my life – live out my faith – interact with other people in my world.  By the patterns that I see prevailing in most church communities – the majority of people would answer the question this way, “Not all that much”.   Sometimes I have wondered about this question myself.  So much energy and effort go into making weekend services happen and I have wondered,  is it worth it?  Not having any real data to support it either way, the answer to this question becomes more about personal opinion than any real facts.  That is until now.  I have been reading a book (I am actually finished it now)  titled “Christians Are Hate-Filled Hypocrites…And Other Lies We Have Beeb Told” which looks at many of the recent surveys that have been done by “credible” organizations (ie. the Barna Group) and shows why some of the data may not paint the kind of picture it was intended to portray.  The book uses much larger surveys to show how the data is not what it might first appear to be.  But as I poured through the data prensented – there was one thing that became very apparent.  It is how important and impactful weekend services have on those who regularly attended.  When it comes to things like divorce – those who attend weekly are 14% less likely to divorce thier spouse than those who attend monthly.  Those who attend weekly versus those who attend monthly are less prone to any type of domestic violence or angry outbursts.  Those who attend weekly  are less likely to have an affair – less likely to give into the watching of X-rated or pornographic material.  Those who attend weekly are significantly less likely to hurt someone than those who attend monthly.  Those who attend weekly  are less likely to get drunk – less likely to use marijuana – less likely to use illegal drugs – by a wide margin.  Those who attend weekly are less likely to lie to someone they love – to return change when they are given too much – to be dishonest when filing thier tax return.    Those who attend weekly are more accepting of others – more caring and compassionate – more likely to give food to the hungry and clothes to those in need – more willing to volunteer to make a difference in their world.  When it comes to moral and ethical choices – when it comes to loving others – when it comes to making a difference in the world – when it comes to prayer and scripture reading – the stats of this book speak pretty clearly that weekly attendance makes a difference in the way we love and live and live out our faith.    The author is not saying that Christians are perfect especially those who attend weekly – we all are human – we all make our fair share of mistakes.  But what he does conclude is that weekly attendance does make a difference.  When we talk about attendance we are talking primarily about weekend services but it can also include attending Celebrate Recovery, Alpha or even a small group. 

So here’s my question, “If it makes a difference in so many areas of our lives why is it that so many people don’t make weekly attendance at weekend services a priority?”  I know there are many reasons for not being able to attend.  Work commitments – family sports commitments – fatigue after very busy work weeks – other commitments.  But if it does make a difference – shouldn’t it be the priority?  Should the attending of weekend services (at least a weekly event) be a key priority in our lives – shouldn’t we make it essential.  At churches like Lakeside we do our very best to make the teachings of the Bible both practical and relevent.  User friendly for every day of the week.  Many who attend regularly will attest to this.  If the stats say it makes such a difference why don’t we make it essential?

There is one more important thing this book illudes to.  It not only makes a difference to adults – but to children and Junior and Senior High students.    The more students and children find themselves in environments that reinforce the values and morals and spiritual principles that parents want to instill in them – the more it is likely to happen.  So, for the sake of your kids alone,  you should want to make the weekend services – weekly attendance at Student Ministry a priority.  Over the last six months I have had some heartbreaking conversations with parents about how their kids want nothing to do with God or his ways.   One of the thing that seems to be common in most stories (not in all of them for sure but in many) is that the attendance at weekend services or at youth group was not a priority.  Sports and schooling and parental priorities often got in the way.  Regret is what I am hearing in the voices of so many parents – regretting not helping their kids find their way to reinforcing environments or not making weekend services a priority.  The one thing this book implies that those who attend regularly (weekly) are the least likely to abandon thier faith after high school or if they do – they are the most likely to return to faith during a season of their adult life.

So is attending weekend services (or at least a weekly gathering) important and essential.  The data seems to imply and say it is.  So what will or is keeping it from being a priority in your life and the life of your children?  Something to think about.  The writer of Hebres said, “Let us not give up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing but let us encourage each other and the more as we see the day of the Lord’s coming approaching.”  Prior to this he talks about drawing near to God – keeping our conscience clear – holding onto the faith – spurring one another on to love and good deeds – I think the idea of meeting together is the glue that held all this together.

Time for a Tune Up

Over the last ten days,  I have taken lots of time to have a good look at what is going on inside of me.  At the soul or heart level.   I have been letting God do  a diagnosis of what is happening in the inner parts of me that nobody sees.  I haven’t done it randomly.  I haven’t done it simply by sitting and thinking.  I have done it prayerfully asking the spirit of God to speak to me revealing those things that need to change – to be improved – to be dealt with.  It has been a Psalm 139 prayer where I have asked God to search me – reveal to me clearly those ways that are offensive – to bring to light some of the things in my life that need to change.  It has been an amazing journey.  God has prompted my spirit but His spirit in so many ways.  But I learned that you can’t do this when life is busy – when there are many voices clamoring for your time – when there are so many deadlines and responsibilities.  It has to be done in times of solitude and I have been given that gift over the last ten days or so.  So I started to make a list in my journal.  It is hard to believe that there are almost twenty things on the list so far.  It has been like the diagnosis before the tune up.  The mechanic has shown me what is wrong – but now the work has to begin.  I know that you might like to know what is on the list but I will reserve that for those who are closest to me – so that they can hold me accountable to it.

But one of the things that I can share is how much I have taken my relationships and friendships for granted.  When people are around all the time and life is busy, it is so easy to do that.  But for the last ten days until yesterday afternoon – I was all alone.  The people I love and cherish were not around.  I realized in those ten days how much I really missed them and how much I love them.  I could hardly wait for Sue to come down to Florida to spend a week with me.  I need to have a greater level of appreciation and gratitude for the people that God has put in my life.  My wife and my children – my extended family – my friends – my team members at Lakeside.  It is so easy to take these people for granted.  If you are one of them I apologize if I have done that.   It is something I want to try to avoid in the future when the pace of life gets really busy again.

The other thing that has happened over the past five weeks is my recommitment to the ministry at Lakeside.  God has really re-ignited a fire and passion for the ministry at Lakeside.  About 50% of pastors who take sabbaticals, resign within the first few months of returning because the time away has made them realize it is time for a  change.  But that is not the case with me.  What I have come to realize over the last five weeks is how much I love our church community – the people – the staff – the kinds of minstry that God has given us the privilege of doing.  I am getting really fired up for the next season of ministry and some of the cool things that I believe that God is doing to do through the leaders and staff and people of Lakeside.  I believe we are going to see a season where we are able to reach lots of people who are broken and wounded and hurting and help them find the kind of life they are looking for through the life changing message of  Jesus.  I have only seven weeks left before I return by the excitement and anticipation is really starting to build in me.  I can hardly wait for the next season of ministry.

I know that much of this self revelation is because of the continued prayers of many of you especially the focused prayers of the prayer team at Lakeside.  Thanks for praying.  God is doing a work in my life and I so excited about how I am going to change on the inside and how we together are going to make a huge difference in our community.  See you in a few weeks.

Waiting

Yesterday morning I spent three hours in prayer and journaling.  It will be one of those times that I will cherish for a long time.  As I was writing and praying a single word came to my mind.  It was the word wait.  So I decided to do a brief word study on this important Bible word.  The definition of the word goes like this, “To stay in the place of expectation – to remian stationary in readiness while expecting it to happen – to look forward expectantly.”    Psalm 37:7 says, “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.”   Lamentations 3:26 says, “It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.”   Psalm 27:14 says, “Wait for the Lord, let your heart take courage, wait for the Lord”.    The verse that really drove it home for me was Psalm 40:1 which says, “I waited for the Lord and he heard my cry.”  I read dozens of verses that talked all about waiting – but more importantly, waiting on the Lord. 

The Bible is filled with those who had to wait on the Lord.  Abraham waited 20 years to have the promised son.  Jacob waited many years to marry the love of his life Rachel.  Moses waited in the desert for forty years before God used his as the leader of the exodus.  David waited many years to become king.  But one of the most painful stories in the Bible when it comes to waiting is Job.  He had everything taken away from him and in the middle of his grief and pain – he had to wait for God and God alone to restore him.  As I read through the story of Job I realized how difficult it can be to wait when life is hard and difficult.  When you want relief from pain – healing from a disease – the changing of a challenging circumstance.  It is so hard to wait on the Lord when you are single, feeling the pain of loneliness, wanting that special relationship.  It is hard to wait on the Lord when you desperately want a child but it doesn’t seem to be happening.  It is hard to wait on the Lord when one of you children is headed down a road that you know is not good.  It is hard to wait when you feel at the end of your rope. 

I sat there and made a list of the things that I am waiting on God for.  They weren’t trivial things at all.  They are important.  They will have an impact on my life in some way.  But I need to wait – as hard as it.  I don’t want to be like Abraham who had trouble waiting for the child and took matters into his own hands.  He got another woman pregnant and it created greater heartache in his life. 

I am trying to memorize these verses when it comes to waiting.  Lamentations 3:22-26 – Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  I will say to myself, “The Lord is my portion, therefore I will wait for him.”  The Lord is good to those who hope in Him, to the one who seeks him.  It is good to wait patiently for the salvation of the Lord.  For all of you who are in the middle of something that has turned your world upside down and the hope of it changing seems to be disappearing – let these verses be your encouragement today – while you wait.

I wrote the lyrics to a song while I was writing and praying – the tune is yet to come.  Maybe these words might also encourage you.. 

There are times my heart is heavy, there are times the burdens are so great

There are times I feel so lonely, and when I want to give up I hear him say

(Chrosu)Wait on the Lord your Saviour, wait for his mighty hand, wait when the darkness comes around you, wait for his deliverance

There are times my dreams seem shattered, days of darkness when all hope seems to fade

I am filled with disappointment, in my brokenness I hear him say (chorus)

There are times when life’s uncertain, anixety and fear flood through my soul

I don’t know about tomorrow, but with doubt again, I hear him say (chorus)

There’s a day when Christ is coming, to take the hurt and pain away

We will spend forever with him, but until that day he says to us to (chorus)

(Bridge)  I waited for the Lord, he listen and heard my cry, Be strong and let your heart feel courage

Quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord, no matter what you are going through, close your eyes and hear him say (chorus)