David Ralph

A Living Eulogy

I have just finished watching the videocast of yesterday’s message at Lakeside and I am still trying to process what the speaker had to say about me as he opened the service.  They were words of affirmation and personal praise and they were so encouraging.   I am not sure that anyone of my peers in ministry has ever said anything nicer.  These words  brought tears to my eyes.  It was like listening to my eulogy from a peer in ministry but I was still alive to hear it.  I found it troubling at first.  It often seems difficult to hear people praise us or to speak well of us.  I am not sure why that is but it seems to be the case for most of us.  I found listening to these words very humbling.  I wondered if he was really speaking about me.  Yet, these were words spoken by someone who I have shared ministry doubts and fears and challenges and joys and successes.  They were shared with someone who I have experienced genuine community with and would consider a brother in Christ.  All the criticisms (and there have been many – it goes with being in ministry unfortunately) that I have heard over the last few years seem to be balanced with the few phrases that he spoke.  In fact, I was actually feeling a little down before I listened to that videocast.  Over the last few weeks I have listened to some of the best leaders I know in the church world.  Yesterday I heard one of the best communicators I know when it comes to Sunday morning messages.  My insecurities kicked in and I wondered to myself if I really did cut it when it comes to leading and teaching in a way that  is required in a growing, prevailing church like Lakeside.

But then I heard these words and in someway those feelings lifted and I felt a renewed and revived spirit.  I thought about the words in Ephesians 4:29 where Paul wrote, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs that it may benefit those who listen.”  How true those words are.  When we build up others according to their needs it really is beneficial.  Then I wondered how often I have missed an opportunity to build up someone else up by not saying the words that needed to be said.  I want to make that one of the changes in the way I lead and teach and serve the community at Lakeside.  I want to praise people more with genuine heartfelt praise, through cards and emails and public affirmation.  I know I can do so much better than I have done in the past in this area.

As I listened to those words spoken of me, I wondered if they are really true.  I believe they are.  I do love God with all my heart and want to grow deeper and deeper in a relationship with Him.  I do work hard at being a better leader and teacher and servant of Jesus – not for my sake or reputation but more for those I lead – those who listen – those I serve.  I do love the people of Lakeside.  Because I am not an outwardly emotional person I don’t always show it or say it enough.  But, I do love the Lakeside community and the people that make it up. 

It was nice to hear “my eulogy” today while I was still alive.  I think we need to share these kind of thoughts with others more often.  It makes a difference.  I builds you up.  It puts a spring in your step.  At least it did that for me.