David Ralph

The Whispers and Promptings

I have been reading a book by Bill Hybels called “The Whispers of God”.  Hybels contends that God wants to speak to each of us through the promptings of His Spirit and that God seeks us out to speak to us.  Hybels also warns however, that there has been and can be so much misuse to the phrase, “God spoke to me”.   Hybels teaches that there needs to be filters to protect from the misuses.  Filters that include alignment with the Bible and the character of God.  Alignment with our own personalities and the way we are wired.  The most important filter is the affirmation from wise counsel or others who come along and seem to confirm the prompting.  I believe that God still speaks and that I have sensed his promptings often throughout my sabbatical.  I will share some of these when I get back.

I had one of them the other day at the Celebrate recovery Conference.  There is a new part of the ministry where pastors get together in a recovery/support group structure.  It is called CPR or Celebrate Pastors Recovery.  It is about providing a safe place for pastors outside their church environments where they can be real and transparent and can deal with their issues in a very safe place.  I heard stories of pastors who have experienced tremendous healing that kept them from shipwrecking their ministries.  As I listened, I sensed God prompting me to start something like this in the “Technology Triangle” area.  But maybe it was just the stories moving me.  The next day, the Canadian CR rep came to me and said that she believed that we needed CPR in our area and that she knew of a few pastors who desperately need something like this before the wreck themselves – their families and their ministries.  Then she said that she felt God prompting her that I should be the one to lead this group.  Is this an affirmation?  I think so.  But I still want to sit and listen to further instructions from God and to pray for his ultimate affirmation.  But I sense he is leading me to do this for other pastors.  One of the keys to hearing the prompting of God’s spirit on an ongoing basis is that once you have one – you need to act on it and obey it.  So, if God is prompting me to do this for other pastors – then I need to obey.

Yesterday afternoon I was doing a workshop for other pastors who have CR in their churches 0r are ready to start this ministry.  At the conclusion of the session, when all the stretgic, operational questions were done and the group gathered were dismissed, I had a small group of pastors line up to ask questions – questions that didn’t get asked in the session.  These weren’t operational or strategic in nature but more heart related questions.  I sensed they were looking for a pastor to pastor them for a brief moment.  The last pastor came to me and in talking about CR shared that he had lost his adult son to a car accident six months ago.  He shared about the pain of having to take his son off life support and having to say goodbye (at least for now).  Again, I felt God prompting me – not to just spend time with other pastors to help them be better leaders (which I have been doing over the last couple of years) but to maybe in a small way  be a pastor to pastors who are struggling – who are broken – who are in danger of doing something stupid that could wreck areas of their lives.

I will continue to ponder this – but the affirmations are overwhelming – so I think I need to obey.  I am not sure what this will look like.  But, I will wait on God for further promptings.  I know I will be amazed by the leadings and promptings of God and how he will use me in a very humble way to maybe make a difference in the lives of other pastors.

A Special Day In Ministry

Today was a special day for me.  It will be one of the highlights of my ministry years that I will remember for a long time.  Today,  I had the privilege to speak at the Celebrate Recovery Conference in California.  I had the chance to speak to more than 3500 people attending the conference and I really believe I encouraged some of them as I spoke.  I had the chance to speak immediately after Rick Warren who is the pastor of Saddleback Church in California and has been called one of the most influential Christians of the last century.  I had the chance to hang out a little with Rick in the green room prior to the session starting.  I even got a big bear hug from Rick as we met for the first time.  When introduced, I was introduced as the first international pastor who has ever taken part at the conference.  The feedback and the response from so many people I have met since has been very encouraging.  It was such a great time. I will remember all of those details for some time.

But, as great as everything I just mentioned was, that was not what really made the day special.  What made it special and I found most humbling is that I had the chance to speak to a half a dozen pastor since I shared this morning who were frustrated and wounded and were finding ministry an almost overwhelming challenge.  I had the chance to not speak so much as to listen (which is something I am really working on) as they poured out some of what they were going through.  I had the chance to encourage them from my own journey and I even prayed with one of them.    So much of today was so encouraging and special, but what made it most special is to simply sit with a few and listen and learn and share and encourage.  I really sense God growing me in this area over the last little while.  It is not the large group that matters or the accolades or feedback.  It is not the people of importance you get to hang out with for a while.  What is mattering the most to me these days – is to simply hang out with people who are wounded and broken and hurting and frustrated and just to listen and share and encourage.  That is what makes my day special.  That is not to diminish all the other things that were part of this experience and it doesn’t mean that I didn’t have a blast doing them.   I did.   Instead it is about perspective and God has been teaching me about focusing on the things that really matter.  Well, I am off to sign a few more autographs and hang out with Rick (just kidding).  Instead, I am off to spend some time with a pastor who has helped other pastors find a safe place to deal with their issues and hurts and struggles.  A pastor who has started what has become known as CPR (Celebrate Recovery Pastors).  My purpose is to simply see if this might be something God might ask me to consider doing in our area and then to humbly obey his leading.

Know Your Audience

Yesterday I had the opportunity to speak at the church that I grew up in.  As I stepped back into that church it brought back so many memories.  I had attended this church for almost twenty years.  I think the last time I spoke there on a Sunday morning was more than 15 years ago.  I was told when I was asked to speak that I could share a talk I had previously given at Lakeside.  As I surveyed the audience and I stepped up to speak, I knew the outline of the talk would work for this audience, but the illustrations wouldn’t.  Most of the audience was over 60 – many of them in their 70′s and beyond and the illustrations that I had previously used were chosen for an audience who was primarily between twenty and fifty.  So on the fly I changed the illustrations and the scenarios to fit the audience.  After the talk was over I had some great feedback from people who have known me for the last 30 years.  But if I had not change the illustrations, the impact of that talk would have not been the same.

As I reflected yesterday as I was driving home, I realized that the same thing applies when we are trying to reach people who have little or no church background – especially on Sunday morning.  We must understand this audience and teach in ways that makes an impact including the language we use – the illustrations – the way we teach.  The only time they might hear the life changing message of Jesus is at one of our weekend services and we need to take seriously the way we teach and what we say.  If I am willing to alter what I said yesterday to fit an audience that for the most part have a personal friendship with Jesus – then I need to be more willing to do it for those who are spiritual explorers and sojourners.    One of the thing that has helped me be more sensitive to those spiritual explorers that sit in the seats at Lakeside on Sunday morning is that some of them have been people that I have invested in building genuine friendships with and have invited them to Lakeside.    When I know they are in the audience, it makes all the difference in the world.  It is my hope as we move into what I believe is a new season of ministry at Lakeside that many of us will invest in building these genuine relationships and will have the opportunity to invite these friends to Lakeside.  My commitment is to teach series that will be practical and user friendly and I will watch my language and the way I teadh so it is a safe and inviting environment.

Leadership Summit – Part 2

As I did on my last post – I am going to summarize in my own words using a bullet point format the key thoughts from the final day of the leadership Summit.

• When we are in a bad place between where we’ve been and where we want to go – that land “in between” - the natural tendency is towards complaining.
• When we complain in difficult times – it is often a complaint against God – more than our circumstances.
• It is in those difficult times on the journey that God often demonstrates his power and his providing hand.
• It is in difficult times we are presented with a choice – to trust God and grow our faith – or to complain and get bitter towards God leading to the death of faith.
• It is in the difficult times that God can do his best transforming work in our lives.
• The leaders key role is to ensure that there is alignment of all people and all activities towards commom values and a common purpose.
• Leaders need to act more like coaches than bosses.
• Leaders set the tone when it comes to the values and purpose of an organziation.
• People are not ultimately motivated by rewards or punishment or by some biological drive but are motivated by autonomy (personal freedom), mastery (making progress and learning new skills) and purpose ( a noble reason to do what you do).
• Leaders need to be authentic – real – transparent.
• Leaders need to have energy and must energize those they lead.  They need to feel the fire and then they need to fuel the fire.
• Leaders need to have candor – be willing to be brutally honest for the betterment of the person they lead and for the good of the organization.
• On any team – celebrating the small wins is critical to reaching the long term goal.
• Team members who are constantly negative – critical – cynical – disruptive need to be removed from the team.
• When a meeting is over – it should all be said and done – with no meetings after meetings in the hallways.

Overall – it was another great Leadership Summit.  Lots of great insights and learnings.  Thanks to the 25 people from Lakeside who attended this event.  It was great learning with you.

The Leadership Fire Hose

Today was day one of what just might be my favourite leadership development event of the year – the Willow Creek Leadership Summit.  It was jam packed filled with great leadership information.  One leader said it was like drinking from a fire hose.  Instead of simply summarizing what each speaker said, I thought I would share some of my key “learnings” in sort of a bullet point format.

• A leader’s job is to move people from where they are at now to the preferred future – not just by painting a picture of the future that fuels passion but also by describing the downsides of staying where they are at.
• To reach a preferred future, fantastic people are needed on the team.
• A person’s fit with an organization’s cutlure is as important as their character and competency and chemistry.
• Celebrating progress is an important part of motivating people when their journey to a preferred future gets difficult and challenging.
• We need to hear the “whispers of God” as His spirit prompts our spirit and we must be prepared to obey those whispers.
• A leader who is more passionate about the goal more than there own success and is determined to do whatever it takes to reach the goal will prevent outrageous arrogance that can lead to failure.
• Growth beyond having the people to manage it will lead to failure.
• Great leaders have a combination of the ability to face the brutal facts and the faith to never give up no matter what the facts tell you.
• The search for a “silver bullet” that will lead to instant success usually doesn’t.
• In order to reach the goal – we need to be driven by our purpose and our values more than money or numerical success.
• The genius of the “AND” is critical for success – especially the tension between preserving the core and stimulating progress.
• As times get tougher in our culture – the greatest need is hope – which is the best thing the church has to offer.
• Loved this quote – “stubborness is a virtue if you are right”.
• Every organization has problems that shouldn’t be solved and tensions that shouldn’t be resolved.
• Every organization has tensions to manage and problems to solve – to mix them up leads to ineffectiveness.
• The role of leaders is to leverage the tensions to the benefit of the organization. 
• As a leader – fairness and balance is not always the goal – doing the right thing for the organization is.
• Passionate people will always champion their cause but they also need the maturity to realize that sometimes they won’t get it their way.
• When a leader falls – we need to deal with it with honesty and transparency – we need to bring appropriate discipline – but grace and forgiveness and mercy are needed.

That is a quick summary of most of the day – from my point of view.  Tomorrow I will share some more great learnings.  Stay tuned.